Wednesday, March 27, 2013

i never saw you coming

"I love [you], and it is the beginning of everything."
- F. Scott Fitzgerald

a couple years ago, around this time, i'd just started university; it was the final week of my first term at Rhodes and i'd met a vast assortment of students - during serenades, in my lectures and tutorials, on my walks up and down the hill, and eating in the dining hall.

being slightly shy (hahahaaa... no, REALLY) a lot of my acquaintances were made via my much more outgoing friend Pam, particularly when it came to meeting people in our dining hall. along the way i was introduced to a second-year in one of our hall's guys' resses; he was their Senior Student (which is pretty much the most important job on any house's committee) and his name was Chris.

i vividly remember seeing him smile from across the room and thinking, "wow... i have to talk to that guy." and so i did.

you come around and the armour falls.

now, i'm not the most open person in the world; i think a lot of people can relate to being wary of sharing their feelings and thoughts with others, because rejection and misunderstanding are both so possible and the thought of them is painful. and then i started talking to Chris, and that wariness fell away completely. it was gone.

i loved his smile, that i'd caught from afar before; i fell in love with his laugh, too. i admired his tenacity, his confidence, his well-thought-out opinions. i was grateful that he was a rugby fan like i am - because similarities are important! ;) above all of that, i loved that i felt cared for and listened to whenever i was around him.

in the months that followed, we began exploring the possibility of dating - but i knew, even in March, that i wanted this to last... and i'm so glad that it has.

this is a state of grace;
this is the worthwhile fight.
love is a ruthless game
unless you play it good and right.

i don't want to be overly sentimental and i think i'm already doing just that, so i won't say any more other than ek's lief vir jou, Christo :) and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

i never saw you coming...
and i'll never be the same.

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