can't wait to see you

it's funny how time changes things.

just over two months ago, i was desperate to get home after a long, drawn-out term that had been both physically and emotionally draining which was topped by, to put it bluntly, an extremely unkind exam timetable that saw me writing five of my eight exams one after the other. 

i reached near breaking point on Thanksgiving Day, three exams into my five-exam haul, and ended up writing this rather melancholic post as an outlet for how blah i was feeling, as well as an attempt to see... something good in my days, despite how i was feeling. then i put on my brave face, rolled up my sleeves, ate a couple pounds of chocolate (well, not quite... but close enough!), soldiered through my last two exams, packed my mountainous amount of junk up into boxes and suitcases and hit the road. (figuratively, you understand.)

fast forward 9 weeks.

tomorrow - exactly 63 days since making my way home - my sister and i will clamber aboard an early-bird Kulula flight (6:55AM may just equal death, but i'll get back to you on that one) and make our way back to the borough of GHT. 

i know i'll miss home - especially in these last few days, i've experienced things so unique to this town that they made my heart simultaneously swell with love for it and ache to be separated from it - but it's time to go. i'm excited about starting second year - about being reunited with some of the beings i love the most in this world, seeing old friends again, getting to know and love new people, diving into my studies (which may sound weird... but SRSLY, i'm keen!), writing songs and being amazed by the goodness that is my bandmates, being actively involved in the society committees of which i form a part, learning to play tennis (*cue much laughter here, folks*), walking around town, debating and dancing and singing and studying and laughing and living... the list goes on.

something i'm MOST excited about this year is sharing my varsity world with one of the most beautiful girls i know. the wonderful Cathryn - easily one of my best friends in this life - is starting her first year at Rhodes. i found out yesterday that she'll be living in a res that's about five minutes away from my own. i couldn't be more thrilled at the thought of getting to live in the same town as this girl (if you know her, you'll know what i'm talking about) - and not even in the same town, but so close! it fills me up to the absolute brim with joy... careful, i might just overflow with it all right now :)

so, here's to second year... 

can't wait to see you, i can't wait to hold you.

i love excuses...

"why are you all dressed up?"

"why are you acting so precocious?"

"why are you curled up on the couch reading a book instead of doing something exciting?"

"why are you grinning so much?"

"why are you speaking in gibberish?"

"why do you get to decide what's for dinner and where it's at?"
"why are you suddenly wearing an old oversized jersey and rugby shorts now?"

"why is everyone paying you so much attention?"

well, do you want the short answer?...

BECAUSE IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!* :)

i love having an excuse to get dressed up, to act nuts, to feel loved by people, to do things which i love, to make memories that will last. i know that i should be doing this EVERY day... but i appreciate that there's a special day when i get to feel extra-spoilt and loved and accepted and whatnot :)

i have been so blessed when i look at the people God has placed in my life - my family, my friends, everyone - and the way they honestly adore me, despite how stupid i can be sometimes. 

so here, have some cake... or at least, a photo of the phenomenal cake which my sister made for me (yes, it's real!) 

...and enjoy the rest of my 19th :)

*also because i'm awesome... but hey, that's beside the point.

celebrations

first off, forgive me for being absent, AGAIN, without notice or reason. the last time i posted was right before my return home; i've now been home a total of 6 weeks, all of which have been wonderful. and i'm sure you can guess why!

besides the sheer niceness of just being home, there have been a couple celebrations... celebrations which i'm sure (or almost sure) you also partook in. so, without further ado....

and...

:) hope you all have had the sweetest season possible!

today also happens to be another momentous occasion in my family, because, it's someone's birthday... and that someone is my big brother, Huw :) this day in 2012 is particularly special because today he turned... wait for it... THIRTY! 

how awesome is that? :) i've teased him all day (over the internet... my heart is sad because i can't be in the same place as him today, but i think i've bugged him sufficiently using technological platforms to ensure that he knows how much i adore him ;) ) about turning "old", but i honestly think 30's a pretty cool milestone to reach. 

and how about another reason to celebrate? (they don't stop, really...) as of just more than a month ago, Huw is engaged to be married to the beautiful Mary-Elyse! my heart couldn't overflow with more happiness for the two of them. i'm so unbelievably glad that M.E. gets to be with Huw on his day - considering the distance they usually are from one another. [Huw lives in Johannesburg, South Africa; M.E. lives in the US somewhere. you can tell that i haven't done my homework properly, huh? but it's enough to tell that it's FAR!]

here's a little doodle i made for Huw, since i'm on holiday and have nothing much else to do with my time... (and no, i didn't draw the little critters... they're dings :P)

(and yes, that is, in fact, what my hair is beginning to look like. i'll post a photo soon.)

in other good news, i'm back in the land of the blogging, my birthday is in two weeks (!) and i'm on vacation for another three weeks!

how fares everyone else? :)

un/grateful

just a little pre-show warning: this blog post may not only be just really boring and full of drivel, but also rather gloomy. i'm sorry to be so down on a day when i should be really happy... it's just that this is my first Thanksgiving away from home. which really shouldn't be such a big deal, since i live in South Africa - which means we don't get the days off, and cooking all that food while juggling normal life is a schlep, so my family (which celebrates because my mom is American, in case you're wondering) usually has a smaller, condensed sort of celebration in lieu of a big, bold, extravagant affair.

but it's a celebration nonetheless.

it's just... weird not being home for Thanksgiving. and i'm incredibly homesick as it is - my heart's crying out to be back at home among its green hills. i have two more exams in the next two days and i'm struggling like anything to put my head down and study (which i REALLY need to do, trust me!) when all my mind can think about is getting on a plane on Sunday afternoon and flying back to where i belong.

and yet...

i'm not ungrateful. i've had a really decent day - studying through the morning, having my breath stolen by Walt Whitman and Allen Ginsberg, joking around with friends at lunch, an incredibly good exam {which, by the way, i had anticipated being really really awful... so its pleasantness was such a blessing}, shopping at Pick'n'Pay and seeing half of Rhodes doing the same (only in this town will you walk into the supermarket and see not only half of the people you just wrote an exam with, but the lecturer for whom you wrote the exam, as well as your faculty's Dean... all doing their grocery shopping. beautiful.), a Snickers bar, Flyleaf, a lift up the hill with Bronnie and Jarrod, dinner and peaches, Chris and baseball and turkey drawings, Kelsey and studying and Cadbury Wholenut chocolate, and long conversations about the things that frustrate and move us about America...

i had a really good day.

and i do love this town an incredible amount; i won't deny that a large part of my heart has come to live here and i'm sure will stay here when i go back to my original home in two days. yes, Grahamstown - this infinitely special little borough - has managed to worm its way into my heart and become a home for me.

i'm just indescribably worn out. and starting to panic about my exam tomorrow. and missing my mom and dad and cat. i guess it's just that time of the year.

i'm going to sleep now, so that i can wake up early in the morning and study my tail off for my first Xhosa exam, which i'm scheduled to write in the afternoon.

but if you're reading this (and i'm really sorry if you are, it's a terribly mopey and rambling blog post)...  
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

i hope you are all safe and warm and happy and loved.

it's a kind of magic

i'm having a rather large amount of fun this afternoon. look:

:)

it may not always be so

it may not always be so;and i say

that if your lips,which i have loved,should touch

another's,and your dear strong fingers clutch

his heart,as mine in time not far away;

if on another's face your sweet hair lay

in such a silence as i know,or such

great writhing words as,uttering overmuch,

stand helplessly before the spirit at bay;

if this should be,i say if this should be-

you of my heart,send me a little word;

that i may go unto him,and take his hands,

saying,Accept all happiness from me.

Then shall i turn my face,and hear one bird

sing terribly afar in the lost lands.

(sweet edward estlin cummings, you are like a dream.)

even you must have a crush on you.

hello there, attractive-looking people.

they = The Life of Riley, Grahamstown's favourite band of all time.

they = incredibly talented and funny and stuff.

they = moving to Cape Town.

sad face.

i met Terri - Miss Vocalist - at another musical gig in the town of G... one of those rare times, you know. granted, it was Van Coke Cartel and Zebra & Giraffe, so the vibe was a little less, um, acoustic. with a little more moshing. first thought that passed through my head upon meeting Terri? jeez, this woman is lovely. and at that stage, i didn't even know she was famous and suchlike! which made her loveliness even more incredible when i look back on that night. ha. so nice to little pleb Hannah!

Nick - the guitarist-slash-glockenspielist - has already moved to Cape Town, so i only officially met him on Saturday night (more about that coming up). and since i knew he was famous beforehand, i was Little Miss Shy. aaaaack. but he seems to be rather nice, too :)

for some reason, Terri seems to like the band i'm in... i think it's mostly cause she and le Justin are homies from Welkom days ;) in any case, Terri is leaving Grahamstown at the end of the year and so Nick came down for One Final Show in our little var-city. and this took place on Saturday evening. and since Terri has decided that The Bad Hands are cool, we got to open for them.

um. i responded like the pineapple.

yes! really. aaaah. talk about being nervous. because, hello, these people are brilliant at life, and at what they do. and they make Justin, Clarke and me look like little children messing around on stage. especially me. yikes.

nevertheless, the gig happened. and we played, and *hem hem* we weren't amazing, i won't lie. we were average ;) the sound wasn't on our side for a bit of the time, and i messed up cause it.was.a.new.venue.aaah.why.so.many.eyes.on.meeee, and not as many people laughed at our unplanned, offbeat jokes as usually do. but we had fun, and we laughed, and we felt mighty honoured to be playing before The Life of Riley.

then Dani Bowler played some of her swaggalicious music while i dined on Simba chips and Coca-Cola (yes, i'm healthy - go away.) and then it was finally time for THE LIFE OF RILEY. yaaaah.

firstly, before i talk about how epic they were - and they were, don't you worry - can we mourn the fact that this was my very first Life of Riley gig of all time? they only played one other gig this year, and i heard about it after the fact. (on the night, but after they'd played. unhappy Hannah was unhappy.) and, you know, this being my first year of varsity and all, i kind-of wasn't around for all their gigs prior to this year. sigh. i cannot believe i missed out on so many shows of goodness. but i will look on the bright side and be grateful that i was at THIS show! yeah. so grateful. so so grateful.

because, like i mentioned, they were fantabulous. i did some crazy fan-girl dancing, was right up in front, squealed like a 14-year-old and sang along as loud as i could when i remembered the lyrics to their songs. with lyrics like,

"even you must have a crush on you

cause you know all the things to say and all the right things to do..."

...well, singing along is rather dreamy. i also managed to grab the piece of paper on which was scrawled the lyrics to their New Song when Terri was done singing along to 'em, and so Cats' Eyes (which is what i deem it should be called) now has a position of pride on my cupboard door.

and then, as their last encore (as if life couldn't get any better) they played a cover of Mario's "Let Me Love You". yes, you know the one. the one we all used to jam to in our primary school uniforms. i don't even lie - i remember it well. i'd borrowed the CD from a friend who lived out of town, and i used to bring it to school. another friend would bring her CD Walkman (those things were tight back in the day, yo) and we'd jam to Mario during breaks. (the CD eventually got stolen from my bag, in case you were wondering. fond memories much?) and i'm gonna post the music video here just for kicks... because these moves used to be smooth. and i think that's hilarious.

regardless, The Life of Riley covered this song as their encore to their encore to their encore. (count the encores... THREE.) and i swear, i was 12 years old again. woah now. waaaaay better than the original? you betcha! as if the rest of the set didn't already have me weeping with delight, i was inconsolably happy after that last last song. and if that all sounds remarkably oxymoronic, it probably is, and we're going to move on now.

Dearest Life of Riley... i believe you are rather remarkable. i believe i will sorely miss your presence in beloved Grahamstown. i believe i will have to travel to Cape Town in order to get a fix of LOR-ness. if there's one thing that i still cannot believe, it's that our silly little band opened for you.

i love y'all.

and that is the truth.