hallelujah

i have been struggling recently. moving away from home is hard; i have to decide all of my courses for the year by... well, this morning; my little cousin is sick and i just want her to be okay. there have been two songs that have resonated so deeply with me in the midst of all this confusion and chaos; on my quest for peace of mind ;) they're both by the beautiful Bethany Dillon; one is entitled Imagination, and the other Hallelujah. i've bolded the lyrics that are particularly significant to me right now :)

here are the lyrics from Imagination - i couldn't find it on YouTube, lame!

i need to be reminded of who i was

when i took that first step out the door

all i said now follows me around

i'm reminded i'm not like that anymore

i uprooted and miles behind me

are the faces and the home i love

you've brought to my attention

how i'm slowly changing

and becoming what i wanted to stop

and isn't that just like a finite mind?

setting out with such righteous indignation

but now i'm at Your feet

could You look at me with some imagination?

the bush before me; i slip my sandals off

i only stopped to look

in the depths of the sea

in the midst of a great storm

i run, i run from You

oh and isn't that just like a finite mind?

setting out with such righteous indignation

but now i'm at Your feet

could you look at me with some imagination?

so remind me why You woke me up

and why You wake me every morn

the staff in my hand; held in by Your love

just stay close, just stay close

cause i know my mind; i know my own mind

i set out with righteous indignation

but when i'm at Your feet

please, please look at me

with some imagination

beautiful, huh? and here are the lyrics to Hallelujah:

who can hold the stars

and my weary heart?

who can see everything?

i've fallen so hard

sometimes i feel so far

but not beyond Your reach

i could climb a mountain, swim the ocean

or do anything

but it's when You hold me

that i start unfolding

and all that i can say is

hallelujah, hallelujah

whatever's in front of me

help me to sing hallelujah

hallelujah, hallelujah

whatever's in front of me

i choose to sing hallelujah.

the same sun that rises over castles

and welcomes the day

spills over buildings,

into the streets where orphans play

and only You can see the good

in broken things

You took my heart of stone

and You made it home

and set this prisoner free

hallelujah, hallelujah

whatever's in front of me

help me to sing hallelujah

hallelujah, hallelujah

whatever's in front of me

i choose to sing hallelujah

these are things that i need to remind myself every minute of every day. although i feel so confused and lost... i am loved. i am held. i am not alone. even though i may feel broken and unusable, God has a purpose for me. and i choose to sing hallelujah.

praying for Addi

dear, dear friends

on Monday, my cousin Hailey, who was expecting her first child, went into labour and gave birth to the beautiful Addisyn Day. they soon noticed that baby Addi was having difficulties and, after running some tests, discovered that her heart valves were all messed up. along with that, she had water on her lungs and her kidneys weren't working the way they should.

she was scheduled for a bypass and open heart surgery on Wednesday, to do repair work on her heart. the procedure went down yesterday, seemingly without a problem, and we were all hoping and praying that this would be the beginning of the end.

it's not. i don't have the details, but i've just found out that she's in critical condition and is basically fighting for her life. so i'd just like to plead with all of you to keep baby Addi - as well as her mom, Hailey, and her dad, Nick, and all of their families in your thoughts and prayers.

i know bargaining with God isn't right; it isn't where i should be. but i've found myself pleading in the last half hour, begging. i can't even begin to imagine what it would feel like to be so close but so far from your child. i can't comprehend having to let go of someone so precious, so dear, without even getting the chance to get to know them.

i want to meet Addi. please, please, PLEASE... join me in praying for her.

thank you.

wishlist wednesday: modcloth edition

if you are a girl, you must love ModCloth. it's something of a prerequisite to being female... just so you know.

when i decided to post a Wishlist Wednesday, i wasn't really surprised that all of the things i've been pining for lately have a common origin: ModCloth. (this was mostly a result of perusing the site for what must have been hours, and having a ModCloth post-off with dear Judy, as we showed one another all the cool things we'd found on the site. man, was that fun!)

so why not make it an official ModCloth edition? all the items on my wishlist this week come directly from the ModCloth shop online, and each photo will link back to its original page. enjoy! :)

what are you wishing for today, lovelies?

xx.